Tink and Swish in a Swordsmiths sales war
Jul 17th
A long long time ago there lived 2 swordsmiths. One named Tink and the other named Swish. Tink and Swish were the greatest swordsmiths in town. Even though they were competitors, they didn’t mind, they both had enough work to keep them busy.
One day, more competition arrived from a large neighboring town and Tink and Swish were worried about losing business. They needed to act quickly.
Swish decided to advertise at the local pub where his warrior customers hang out. He paid 1 gold coin to advertise on the pubs notice board. His advertising paid off! For 1 gold coin of advertising, he made 2 gold coins in return! A whole gold coin profit! This was a lot of money back then. 1 gold coin could buy 3 stallions, food for a month or even a night with Giselle. She was very beautiful.
Tink took a different approach. He decided to help the warriors at the pub with their swords and new sword fighting techniques.
Before long, the new competition in town noticed the advertisements and decided to advertise their swords at the pub too. The pub was loving it! They soon ran out of advertising space so the costs went up and up and up and Swish was now only breaking even on his advertising.
Meanwhile, Tink still wasn’t spending anything on advertising, yet everyone knew him or at least knew someone who knew of him. Even warriors visiting from out of town heard about the war stories that were fought using Tinks swords.
As Tink watched Swish complain to the bar management about the obscene advertising costs, he smiled, knowing that warriors talking about him and his swords was the greatest source of long term sales he could ever have.
Einstein’s Riddle
Jul 3rd
I wish mad scientists were still the heroes of society today instead of pop stars. Born in 1879, Albert Einstein is famous for his Mathematical ability, intelligently humorous quotes and his wild hair. Before he died he wrote a riddle. A special riddle. He stated that only 2% of the population could solve it. Are you one of the 2%?
The Rules:
There are no tricks, just pure logic, so good luck and don’t give up.
1. In a street there are five houses, painted five different colours.
2. In each house lives a person of different nationality.
3. These five homeowners each drink a different kind of beverage, smoke
different brand of cigar and keep a different pet.
The Question:
WHO OWNS THE FISH?
HINTS
1. The Brit lives in a red house.
2. The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
3. The Dane drinks tea.
4. The Green house is on the left of the White house.
5. The owner of the Green house drinks coffee.
6. The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
7. The owner of the Yellow house smokes Dunhill.
8. The man living in the centre house drinks milk.
9. The Norwegian lives in the first house.
10. The man who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
11. The man who keeps horses lives next to the man who smokes Dunhill.
12. The man who smokes Blue Master drinks beer.
13. The German smokes Prince.
14. The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
15. The man who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.
No, i’m not going to tell you the answer. I believe it took me somewhere between 30 and 50 minutes to solve it in 2003. I hope I’m a bit smarter now.
More about Albert:
Born in 1879, Albert Einstein is known today for his incredible mathematical ability and… well, his wild hair. But more important than the physical attributes of his cranium, is the fantastic information which it provided. He will probably always be remembered as the greatest mathematical genius of the modern world. Honors he has received for his works include the Nobel Prize, which he was awarded in 1921, the Royal Society Copley Medal, which he was awarded in 1925, he was elected as a Fellow of the Royal Society in 1921, and he became an AMS Gibbs Lecturer in 1934. He also was a very vocal advocate against nuclear weapons, and spoke out for international peace. Fittingly, a letter asking that his name be put on a manifesto urging all nations to give up their nuclear weapons, was the last he wrote before his death in 1955.
And to finish up, here’s a short documentary about him.
What’s your personality type?
Jul 1st
The Enneagram may be as old as 5000 years, i.e. 2500 years older than Buddha, Confucius, and Aristotle and 3000 years before Christ. This psychological folk wisdom was developed in the Middle East and passed around, probably by minstrels as well as Jewish and eventually Christian and Muslim teachers and was almost certainly taught by the Sufi masters. The theory describes nine different personality types, hence the name Enneagram – ennea means nine in Greek
The purpose of the Enneagram is self-enlightenment, partly by discovering the hidden driving force – an unwanted compulsion – which underlies your surface personality. It may help to use the chart below to identify your type and your partner’s type and perhaps discover where there might be conflicts.
Type 1 – “the we-can-do-better inspirer”
Wise, conscientious, idealistic, hard-working perfectionist. It bothers them when things are not done ‘the right way’, so when frustrated they may become critics of others and of themselves. Their underlying drive or compulsion is to avoid anger and avoid being wrong or criticized. It is important for them to be right, to maintain control over their emotions and to not receive anger or express it. However, few things or people are perfect, so life is never easy for them
Type 2 – “the good Samaritan”
Compassionate, attentive, empathic, warm, caring, and constantly giving. They may become so concerned about ‘preaching’ love that they overlook actually helping, but always have lots of good intentions. Their hidden compulsion is neediness. They have strong needs to be needed, appreciated and loved, but they want to avoid recognizing those needs. Nothing is done without a reason, not even by the ‘selfless’ giver
Type 3 – “the go-getter”
Confident, high self-esteem, ambitious, inspiring achiever. May become overly competitive, wanting to always come out on top, continually trying to impress people. Their compulsion is to avoid failure and rejection, which forces them to work hard for success. They believe their personal worth is determined by their achievements
Type 4 – “the creative person”
Artistic, sensitive, in touch with feelings, true to self. May become moody, easily hurt, and socially or emotionally withdrawn, feeling emotionally overloaded and different from others. They are striving to avoid being ordinary or defective, they want to be special and unique, they sometimes feel deeply but more often ‘on stage’ or like an impostor
Type 5 – “the learned one”
Intelligent, logical, loves being alone and learning, original thinker. May become absorbed in abstract trivia, proving their own theory or counter-attacking criticism. They are attempting to avoid being empty – empty of knowledge and understanding of the world, empty of answers when asked a difficult question and empty of opportunities to learn more. Absorbing knowledge is their addiction, not using knowledge
Type 6 – “the dependable, admiring follower”
Likeable, engaging, friendly, loyal, trustworthy, concerned with making friends. May become indecisive and insecure but remains devoted and a ‘team player’. Their compulsive fears are of rejection, being alone and especially condemnation by an authority figure. Their drive is to follow all the rules, to be approved and to be secure without becoming self-reliant
Type 7 – “the happy hedonist”
Enthusiastic, practical, playful, accomplished, enjoying life, knows and wants the best of everything. May become materialistic, hyperactive, easily frustrated and compelled to buy new ‘toys’ and find new ways to have fun, including alcohol and drugs. Their fear is of deprivation and boredom. Their compulsions are to avoid personal pain, not even to see it in others’ lives, to put off anything unpleasant and to have more of everything. Life should be fun is their motto
Type 8 – “the conquering hero”
Strong, assertive, ‘can-do’ attitude, loves challenges, natural leader, champion of causes. May become a risk-taking entrepreneur or a righter of wrongs, intimidating or “having it out” with others and feeling he/she must get his/her way. The driving force underlying this personality is a fear of being dominated or the avoidance of weakness. They favour radical change as long as it’s by them
Type 9 – “the complacent pacifist”
Accepting, patient, unpretentious, open, relaxed, just a nice reassuring person. May become too submissive or accommodating, too self-effacing, too indifferent and falsely reassure others in order to gain peace at any price. They fear conflict and separation from others due to conflicts. They will do anything for harmony, even deny reality. Their approach is ‘what’s the big deal?’
Conclusion
The best way to use these nine brief descriptions is to go back through the list and identify your basic personality type by noting, primarily, the positive characteristics because that is what we know best about ourselves. Then, your insight should come from noting the underlying unconscious fears and compulsions of your personality type. Next, you need to spend a lot of time considering possible ways your hidden fears or desires have influenced your life. By becoming more aware of these hidden needs or forces within you, perhaps you can see yourself in a different light and find better ways to cope with your problems.
Bruno’s 10 Gayest Moments
Jul 1st
Before the Bruno movie, he started life featuring regularly on the Ali G show alongside Borat. If you haven’t yet seen much of Bruno before, then prepare yourself as I introduce Bruno’s finest rainbow-pooing moments.
| 1. Alabama – Gayest place in America |
[poll id="2"] |
Bruno proves he’s the real deal by announcing that being gay is the new coolest thing. Highlights include “there’s 85,000 fans that want to smash you”, an intimate interview with football star Shaud Williams and pissing off a hardcore homophobe. It’s interesting to note that Sacha Bara Cohen is actually Jewish and has some how filmed dozens of anti-Semitic remarks during his interviews. This was one of them.
2. Tickets to the gun show
Sacha Baron Cohen has balls, that’s for sure
3. Contradicting interview
Listen carefully as every remark is followed up with contradicting remark, both of which the designer enthusiastically agrees with, making a fool of himself. Fool.
4. Bruno Visits a Christian Rock Festival
Bruno pushes the buttons of Christian rock stars and Eminem h8ters.
Best line: “Have you heard of the band Dirty Va*ina”
5. In or Out. Fashion Polizei
Demonstrates how badly television interviewees can be influenced.
6. Bruno Meets Skinheads
Best Line: “Would you ever do a spunkter on stage?”
7. Interview with a Gay Converter
This has to be one of the funniest skits ever. Funny and shocking to see there are people like this in the world still.
8. College wrestlers on Austrian Gay TV
You’ve probably already seen this video. How did those blokes not realise that something wasn’t quite right. Hilarious stuff.
Best Line: “Yaaa, this is a gay show”
9. Bruno learns to bounce
After catching out a nightclub owner who discriminates against cripples, the funniest scene starts at 2:55 when Bruno becomes a nightclub bouncer.
Best Line: “This is a nightclub, not a f*&king shopping mall. Go change your shirt and come back.”
10. Bruno freaks out Psychic
This psychic is either fake, an idiot or both. I say both. Jerk.
BONUS 1. Best of Borat TV show
There’s so many hilarious Borat scenes from the series that were funnier and more controversial than the Borat movie. This is one of them.
Best Line: “Hmmm. Um. Well, I guess they would have to go to hell”
BONUS 2. Ali G interviews Victoria and David Beckham
I bet you cannot watch this interview without laughing. Go on, I betchya. Message me if you can.
BONUS 3. Borat learns about politics.
This must be my favourite controversial Borat scene. The Republican Senator in this film actually got in hot water about this and was forced to make a formal apology for the what he said in the interview.
I’m an Ali G fan, Borat fan and Bruno fan who likes women and 100% supports gay rights, same sex marriages and all that jazz.
If you enjoyed these videos, be sure to check out the Bruno movie to be released July 10 2009.
Adventure 1
May 25th
I’d never flown overseas before so as expected, the flight to Hawaii did not go 100% smoothly. After the teary goodbyes at Brisbane airport and touching down in Sydney shortly after, I had 1.5 hours to run around Sydney airport trying to find where the hell Air Canada takes off from. I eventually found it and after been given a good frisking, took my boarding pass and headed for the correct plane gate. Shown in the photo to the left I met her…. The lady who looks like a man. By clicking the image, you can see that she is built like a brick shit house. I presented her my boarding pass where she pointed to a wall and orded me to “take a seat”. Realising that there was no chair to sit down, I queried her demand and once again, I was directed to take a seat on the wall. I thought “okay, she obviously means the seat is on the other side of the wall and I’ll be called when ready. I’ll just walk behind the wall, and see what is there” Walking away, she orded me back and once again demanded me to “TAKE A SEAT!”, pointing again at the wall”. I had enough of that nonsense, so I responded frustratedly with, “BUT THERE ISN’T ANY SEAT THERE!!!” She ignored my remark, so the only conclusion I could come to at the time was that she meant to just wait by the wall.
30 mins went by and a few dozen people had already been let through the gate, to the plane. Meanwhile, a small desk, about 90 degrees from the direction where the lady was pointing, started calling out peoples names who were then let on the plane. Thats when I realised that this he-she was trying to direct me to a desk that hands out seat numbers on the plane. I eventually worked out what to do and while waiting for my seat number, I stewed by the wall and took spy photos of her deciding that she deserves a mention in my adventure stories.
After all that, I got a seat in the center isle, no where near the requested window seat. I didn’t mind because the passengers sitting next to me were two chicks from Townsville who chatted to me for a while.They were lovely. Mary who was turning 76 and her elderly friend are going on a boat cruise near the Rocky mountains in Canada. Good luck ladies!
I eventually made it Hawaii and am having a great time in the beautiful weather. I’m now staying in a hostel with 7 other people for $20US per night.
Lots of things are different here:
- The beer is only $4.95US for a 6pack of heavies.(around $8 Australian)
- The beach has beautiful white sand but as soon as you step into the water, it’s jagged rock. Seemed a bit fake to me.
- 90% of all cars are huge 4X4 monster trucks, A-Team Mr.T vans and funny looking limos
- Alchohol can be bought from a quick-e-mart type shop called “ABC Shop” of which there are 4 on every block.
- TV is 50% “buy now or you’ll suffer” type advertisments. Like this space mask looking thing. (Click Link)
- It gets dark at 7:30pm
- No one wears motorbike helmets. Must be legal. Idiots. Also, everyone rides around in the back of pickup trucks. No seat belts.
| Stats | |
| People Conversed with | 12 |
| Hours Spent Lost | 5 |
| Money Wasted, Lost | $240AUS |
| Beers drunk | 5 |
| Nights slept | 2 |
| Fights | 0 |
| Photos taken | 15 |
Even though it is a very different place, everyone is friendly and willing to help.
I got lost on the bus system yesterday. I have no idea where I was but eventually found my way back to the beach. That was a bit scary. The bus map is crap!
I still have bruises up my arms for trying to carry my luggage a few hundred meters too many. I refused to pay for a cab.
It’s funny flying above the clouds, it looks like you’re upside down.
Take care, and keep the emails coming.
Richard Eastes
World adventurer.

